


Hold me close (Til I Hit the Ground)

by CommanderBaewin



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chris and Josh also can't hold their liquor well like damn, Graphic depictions of violence because of deer mauling, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Josh and Chris are basically horny teenagers smh, Lots of fluff and angsty feels, M/M, Porn in the second chapter, Sexy Times, Slight medical mumbo-jumbo that I don't really know that much about tbh, also mentions of gore and wounds obtained during said mauling, first chapter is sfw in case nsfw ain't yo thang, how the hell do I fic, it's okay bb you do you, rip deer, so probably some medical inaccuracies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-18 21:18:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4720787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderBaewin/pseuds/CommanderBaewin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Josh had dragged Chris along in heading further up the mountain to check on the guest cabin, and he had begrudgingly obliged. His enthusiastic other half had claimed that he wanted to make sure it was “still in good condition after all this time”."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Until Dawn.
> 
> Okay so like to be completely honest I haven't even finished watching the game on YouTube, I'm about some place in chapter five soooo yeah. I tried, valiantly I might add, to resist the temptation of making this fic, I really did. Eventually though I just couldn't not do it. I had to. My thirst for these two is far too mighty.
> 
> Basically what I'm trying to say is I'm literal trash and I hope you enjoy this!
> 
> (Title is a reference to the song Hummingbird by Tut Tut Child. In case you wanna take a listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4-Tb4rHZt8)

“How do you think things are going back at the lodge?” Chris wondered aloud as they trekked through the snow, raising a gloved hand to swipe at the unrelenting snowflakes that were stubbornly sticking to his glasses. The giant cluster of trees on either sides of the path seemed almost tall enough to reach the heavens. The branches, devoid of any leaves, swayed and creaked in the crisp wintry wind.

_Josh had dragged Chris along in heading further up the mountain to check on the guest cabin, and he had begrudgingly obliged. His enthusiastic other half had claimed that he wanted to make sure it was “still in good condition after all this time”. Chris had been perfectly fine cozied up by the fireplace, but no. He made sure that he grumbled and complained about the cold as much as possible along the way._

_Then Josh had turned to him, his smile coy as he mentioned that they might as well make sure everything was in working order, when they got there of course. Which included the fireplace, and the bed. The sofa. The shower. The floor, etc. And then he had grinned, letting out a genuine laugh as the younger man swallowed hard and picked up the pace._

His head felt the brunt force of the cold winds, his cheeks rosy with numbness and his nose runny. But he had been assured- multiple times he might add- that they were almost there. Beside him Josh shrugged.

“Hopefully good. Maybe Matt and Mike can get the two ‘Housewives of Blackwood Pines’ to calm their tits.” He faltered slightly when he nearly lost his footing in the snow. Chris threw out a hand and gripped his arm to help him regain his balance. He giggled.

“Yeah. Maybe they’re all huddled around the fireplace roasting marshmallows and singing ‘ _Kumbaya_ -” he stopped dead, “do you hear that?”

The brunette came to a stop as well, and they held their breath, silent as they strained to hear something- anything. The sounds seemed to be coming from up ahead. The only way to describe that noise was animalistic shrieking. Accompanied with what sounded like something ripping and tearing. The two of them shared an uneasy look.

“D-do you think it’s another deer?” Chris whispered. They had encountered several along the path on the way, but the sounds coming from the clearing up ahead didn’t sound like anything a normal dear would make.

“Probably.”

The brunette edged slowly towards the sound, and Chris grabbed his arm again.

“What if whatever hurt it is still there?” He hissed quietly.

“Then we run like hell to the cabin or something. I just wanna take a peak.”

He sighed, relenting. Yep, this is how they would die. Together, in the middle of the mountains, because they were stupidly curious.

Ever cautious, they crept forwards, the snow crunching underneath their feet sounding extremely loud. The once serene forest suddenly felt ominous. Then, they saw it.

“Oh my God.”

“Holy _shit_ ”

An injured deer laid against a fallen tree, bleeding heavily from a deep gash in it’s neck. In fact, it was a marvel that the deer’s head was still attached to it’s body. The blood dripped down and fell into the snow, staining it a deep crimson.

Whatever had hurt it clearly wasn’t there anymore. He could only hope that it moved on to greener pastures and wouldn’t return. He shivered, and not from the cold, suddenly feeling as if they were being watched.

“What the hell happened to it?” He asked, more rhetorical than anything as they approached the wounded animal. He crouched down next to it, reaching out a tentative hand to pet it’s shoulder, making sure to avoid it’s bloody neck. The deer merely stared at them, making the occasional grunt or whine in pain.

“A bear, maybe?” Josh offered softly. He hovered next to him, unsure what to do. “Should we- like, put it out of it’s misery or something?”

Chris let out a shaky sigh. “I dunno.”

As it turned out they didn’t, as soon the deer rested it’s head against the tree, it’s laboured breath slowing down, before stopping altogether. He patted it sadly one more time before standing up.

“I wonder why it didn’t like, eat it,” he said. Josh opened his mouth to say something, when suddenly the deer was yanked backwards into the trees by something unseen, a garbled sort of growl emanating from the shadows. They both screamed and took off running in the direction of the cabin.

“Was that the bear?!” He yelled, blindly running ahead with Josh hot on his heels.

“I have no fuckin clue!”

Whatever it was it had taken chase, and was gaining on them fast.

They came to a screeching halt suddenly, a fork in the road. They could either follow the path or risk a shortcut climbing up a rocky hill. They didn’t have time- Chris lurched forwards towards the shortcut and began climbing, turning around to help boost Josh up. Together they made their way to the top.

The cabin was just up ahead now, they were nearly home free. Chris made it to the porch first, panting as he stumbled over to the door. Josh however was not so lucky and tripped over a loose board, slamming to the ground. They key to the cabin, which had been in his hand slid across the porch.

He didn’t even think, he simply dove down to help his boyfriend stand back up. The shortcut they had taken had seemed to put a fraction of distance between them and it thankfully, and he bent down and snatched up the key. He struggled with the lock, Josh yelling in his ear for him to hurry up until finally, finally the door unlocked and they pushed their way inside. He slammed it closed behind them and locked it, turning around with a sigh. He sagged against the wood, sliding down onto the ground and gasping for breath. Josh walked over to the sofa and sprawled out on it face down as he panted.

“That...was...insane.” He mumbled down into the sofa cushions. Chris made a noise of agreement, too winded to produce words. They sat there for a while, simply breathing and listening as the wind whistled outside.

“Do you think it’s gone?” Chris finally asked. He stood up and peaked out the door’s window. He could only see the flurry of snowflakes and the trees. No psychotic forest dwellers on the porch.

“I hope so. If-if not at least we have that.” He directed his attention to where Josh, now in a sitting position, was pointing. A hunting rifle was perched in its holder by the door. He let out an uneasy laugh.

“Chris, c’mere.” He patted an empty spot on the sofa. The younger man did as he was told and plopped down next to him. Josh didn’t hesitate to pull him in for a kiss, leaning against him. The heat from their bodies was a welcoming change from the frigid temperatures around them. When they pulled away the blonde grinned.

“What was that for?” He asked, “not that I’m complaining, of course.”

Josh chuckled, “for saving my ass back there, man.” He placed a hand to his forehead dramatically. “My _hero_!” He cried with a high pitched voice, pretending to swoon. Chris laughed.

“Well, if that’s the thanks that I get then I should save you and your ass more often.” He initiated the kiss that time and pulled Josh closer. He tugged his gloves off his hands and dropped them somewhere, gripping the front of Josh's coat. His hands fumbled with the zipper until finally he yanked it down, untangling their arms for a second so he could push the article of clothing off his shoulders. Josh groaned softly as their tongues slid together and he reached forward to reciprocate the stripping. Chris snuck a hand under his shirt and slid it across his abdomen. The older man jolted when he felt cold fingers skating across his skin and he pulled away from the kiss reluctantly. His lips were wet and shiny with saliva.

“As much as I would love to continue where this is going, we can’t really have sex if we’re both slowly freezing to death.”

“Well I mean, we could try. After all the best way to share body heat is being naked.” He waggled his eyebrows exaggeratedly.

Josh snorted at that and shook his head, standing up.

“Whatever you say, Boy Scout. The sooner we get a fire started the sooner we can pick up where we left off.” He wandered over to the small kitchen and started checking the drawers and cabinets, mumbling something about matches. Chris jumped to his feet and sent him a mock salute.

“Aye aye, Captain.”

Moving behind the couch he glanced at his surroundings. It was a relatively small cabin, tremendously so when compared to the lodge, but it was nice, cozy even.

_If I was a matchbox, where would I be-_

“Aha!” He bent down and grabbed the box of matches from where it had fallen underneath the table. He shook the box towards the other man, grinning.

“Bingo.”

“Nice.” Josh walked towards the wall by the refrigerator and opened a panel to the power box. “Alright, let’s get the lights going.” He flicked down the switch and jumped back a few steps when the box sparked and zapped his hand. He waved the offended hand and cursed.

“You okay?” Chris asked.

“Yeah I’m good, surprised me more than anything.” He sighed and smacked the door close once more. “Damn thing is fried. Guess we’ll have to call an electrician later.”

“So much for a steamy bath then.” He couldn’t help but sound slightly disappointed. Other than the obvious sexy reason, a warm bath sounded like heaven. Josh laughed.

“Don’t worry, there’s plenty of other places we could take advantage of.” He paused for a minute, and then snapped his fingers. “As a matter of fact, why don’t you start the fire? I’m gonna go grab some blankets from the bedroom or something.”

“I’m on it.” Chris said as he watched him walk down the hall and then disappear into the bedroom. He crossed the room and stopped in front of the furnace, crouching down.

He opened the grate and grabbed a few logs from the pile next to it. Humming a nameless tune he threw the logs in. Then he grabbed one of the matches and struck it against the strike paper on the side of the box. Once lit he tossed it into the pile.

It was slow goings at first, as he prodded the logs with a tiny stick from the pile, trying to push some of the dry leaves and remnants of the last fire into the small flame. Eventually the fire grew until it started to spread and enveloped the logs. The room was alight with a soft glow, the flames casting shadows that danced and flickered around the room. It’s warmth felt almost like instant relief and Chris brought his hands up to warm them in front of the fire before he closed the grate.

He stood up, grinning with triumph as he pumped his fists.

“Man make fire!”

Silence. He furrowed his brow. He had expected to hear some sort of quip or sarcastic reply from his boyfriend by now. He had been far too quiet than usual. He moved towards the kitchen and glanced down the hallway that led to the bedroom. Josh stood at the end of the hall with his back to him, silent.

“Josh, everything okay man?” He approached the brunette and came to a stop beside him. He felt his heart constrict in his chest when he realized what he was so fixated on. A picture of Hannah sat on the end table. She smiled brightly back at them, dressed in her tennis gear, racket in hand. He stared down at it, expression distant.

Chris cleared his throat to announced his presence, and to make sure he didn’t startle him as he tentatively placed a hand on his forearm.

“Babe?”

He seemed to snap back to reality at that and turned his head to look at him.

“C’mon, I got the fire going.” Josh remained silent, but allowed himself to be tugged gently back towards the living room. Chris sent one last fleeting glance at the picture.

_I’m so sorry, Hannah._

He had only fond memories of her, and Beth too. Often times when he hung out at Josh’s house the twins were there. They both had treated him like part of their family. Beth always teased Chris about his obvious infatuation with her brother and had declared herself his wing-woman. Her plans usually involved dragging her sister away, claiming they had “an errand to run” and leaving the two men alone to watch the movie they had rented. He wondered briefly if Josh had ever caught on.

Shaking the thoughts from his head he took the blanket that Josh had draped over his arm and knelt down to spread it across the floor in front of the furnace. He plopped down onto it and got comfortable, slipping his boots off. His boyfriend followed suit and he drew his legs in, linking his arms around them. He looked vulnerable, lost even.

They sat in silence for a while, Josh staring down at the burning embers. Again, Chris’ chest ached, and he wanted nothing more than to pull him into an embrace and somehow make the pain go away. He watched him. It was so unusual to see him so stoic and vacant looking. He wondered how much he hid from them. He almost wanted to ask if he was making sure he took his medication, but he didn’t want to anger him. He was so worried that Josh was going to shut down, or shut him away.

“I really miss them.” He whispered suddenly, as if it was a secret confession. Chris shifted on the blanket and moved closer, but still apart in case he wanted his space.

“I know, I know. I do too.” He replied softly.

“I- I feel like I could have done more, you know?”

* * *

  _At the time the two of them had been passed out in the kitchen, and the others had sought them out not long after Beth and Hannah had disappeared into the snow storm. It had taken a while for them to shake the two awake. The alcohol was still somewhat in their system, and Josh was blissfully ignorant to the situation as he giggled and all but draped himself over the kitchen counter. Sam, ever the mother of the group, shook her head and went to fetch them both a cup of water._

_“Dad’s gonna be like, so pissed if we don’t clean the place up when we’re done.” On the other side of the counter, Chris groaned and rubbed a hand down his face, his head throbbing. Sam passed him the water and some aspirin. It was then Josh seemed to notice the absence of his two siblings._

_“Beth an Hannah?” He was slurring, but the others got the gist of what he was asking. Multiple people started talking at once. Mike, Emily, and Jess all still insisting that it had been just a prank, and that she was being too sensitive. At least Ashley and Matt had the decency to look ashamed with themselves. Of course what stuck out to Josh most was “Beth and Hannah”, “ran outside”, and “they haven’t come back” and he tried to stumble to the door, ready to run outside in the freezing weather without a coat and shoes. Matt and Mike were able to stop him before he got too far, even with him trying to shove them off._

_“I’m sure they’ll be back any minute, Hannah’s most likely still embarrassed.”  Sam said, ever rational and then she glared at Mike. He looked away._

_Slowly, hours ticked by. The alcoholic haze subsided. Josh started pacing by the door, cell phone in hand as he texted and called the two repeatedly without break. The temperature continued to drop outside, the winds fierce. Sam tried her best to continue being positive, but she didn’t sound particularly confident. Josh refused to move from his spot despite Chris trying to get him to lay down to rest for a while. He stood there, phone clutched in his hand, and hoped and prayed that any moment and the two would come crashing through the door happy and smiling. Beth would grin at him and tease him._

_“Aww, was wittle Joshy worried about us?” And everything would be okay._

_They didn’t._

_It wasn’t._

* * *

 “I should’ve..” He trailed off, breath hitching. When he looked back at Chris his eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

“Josh, if you would have went out there to look for them you most likely would have gotten lost, too.” He reached forward and pulled him into an embrace. Josh went willingly and wrapped his arms around him, tightly grasping onto the back of his shirt as if he was his life preserve. His anchor. He buried his face into the crook of the blonde’s neck and sniffed.

“You did all that you could. It isn’t good to dwell on it.”

“I’m their brother, I’m supposed to look after them.” He mumbled, voice wavering. Chris shushed him gently and held him while he shook and sobbed. He was great at hiding his feelings, and it made him wonder when was the last time he had opened up to someone like this.

The wind had died down, along with the snow. It looked tranquil and picturesque, as if straight out of a Christmas card. Eventually his tears slowed to a stop and they sat in silence, holding each other.

“Thanks for putting up with me.” He said. Chris frowned.

"Stop that. I'm not in a relationship because I "put up with you". I'm in a relationship with you because I love you. More than anything." He broke away from the embrace so he could look at him. He grabbed one of Josh's hands, linking their fingers. He stroked his skin with his thumb absentmindedly. "And I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

He started to belt out the lyrics to _I'll be around_ by the Spinners, horrendously off key, until Josh laughed and pushed him playfully.

“Alright, alright I get it.”

“Feel better?”

“Yeah, thanks. For everything.”

Chris smiled and leaned in, cupping his cheeks. The kiss felt different than the other previous ones. More meaningful, and full of unspoken promises between them. They laid down and curled up together, Josh resting his head on Chris' chest, an arm thrown over his stomach. Chris kissed the top of his head and inhaled the scent of his shampoo.

Josh broke the silence a while later by sighing.

“Sorry about, you know, running all the fun.”

Chris scoffed.

“Ruin the fun? Naw, you didn’t ruin anything. In fact-” He untangled himself from his lover’s grasp and jumped to his feet.

“Right! This is a strict fun only trip. We’re having fun!” He began looking around again, and Josh watched, an eyebrow arched.

“What are you looking for, exactly?”

“For fun things! Ya’know: checkers, _Jenga_ , hell _Monopoly_ , even.” His search came up empty of course. If only he had brought along his backpack.

“Well I don’t know about games, but I did find some reading material in the bedroom.”

“Like what?” The blonde asked, and he turned to look back at him. Josh held the aforementioned book in his hand and he flashed him the cover, his expression sly. Chris squinted. In the dim light he could vaguely make out the words _Kama Sutra_.

Oh.

_Oh._

He wondered if his boyfriend could see the flush in his cheeks from there.

“Really now.” He said, faintly aware that his voice had gone up about 4 octaves as he said it.

“Yes really.” And with that he shrugged out of his grey and white plaid shirt.

“We don’t have to, if-if you don’t wanna.” Chris said. He sure as hell would be down for it, but he’d also be content with simply cuddling. He didn’t know if Josh was actually in the mood for it, and he hoped he wasn’t pushing him to do it as an apology or to make him feel good or anything. The older man chuckled.

“Oh I definitely wanna.” Chris stared, utterly transfixed as he pulled his shirt up and over his head, exposing dark skin. He swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. Josh threw the shirt onto the couch before gazing up at him.

“Are you just gonna stand there and make me do all the work by myself or are you gonna get over here and strip?” He asked, grinning as he made a “come hither” gesture.

Chris was more than happy to oblige.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They do the do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for being so patient for this next chapter. :) I hope you guys like it, and I hope it was worth the wait ahaha. It ended up being way longer than originally planned lmao.
> 
> Also in case you missed it in the tags, this chapter does have a very brief mention of self harm. I tried to be pretty vague, and I didn't depict the act or describe it or anything, I only really mention the scars. Just wanted to warn you.

Josh let out a low groan and bucked his hips up to meet Chris’. Chris was grinning at him, perched atop his hips and grinding down onto him. Every brush of their dicks, even with jeans on, was sending shock waves of pleasure through the brunette. They had already removed most of their clothing, (which took a bit longer for Chris, because he always wore an ungodly amount of layers,) and even despite the cold outside they were starting to sweat.

The fire had dimmed slightly as the logs burned away to ashes.

“Shouldn’t we take this to the bed?” Chris asked, his movements coming to a stop. They were still lying down on the floor after a glorious make-out session. Josh shifted, impatient as he halfheartedly glared up at him.

“Later. Just- hurry up and take your pants off, dammit.” To emphasize his point he snapped his hips up once more, wriggling underneath him. The blonde chuckled and stood up, bowing deeply.

“Your wish is my command, Your Highness.” As he spoke he undid his fly and shimmed out of his pants, kicking them off to the side and leaving him in only his grey briefs. Josh sat up on his elbows and eyed him appreciatively. Under his heated gaze Chris grinned and struck a goofy pose.

“I’m devilishly handsome, I know.”

Josh snorted and patted the blanket. “Get over here, you dork.”

The other man did as he was told without further delay and was on his knees in front of him in an instant. He pushed Josh gently down onto his back again and leaned down to latch his lips on his neck. Josh shuddered, his head falling back to the blanket with a muffled ‘thunk’ as Chris mouthed at his skin, trailing wet hot kisses down his chest and stomach. He shut his eyes and sighed happily under his touch. At that moment nothing else mattered; all the bullshit melted away and it was just the two of them.

He felt Chris tug at the zipper to his pants and lifted his hips up slightly to help. In one fluid motion his pants and underwear were both removed, leaving him bare. Even with his eyes closed he could feel the other man’s gaze wandering up and down his body, and it made him flush and shift underneath him. Of course it wasn’t the first time he had seen him naked, after years of ‘climbing classes’ together, and it wasn’t the first time they had had sex before, but he still couldn’t help but be slightly self conscious. He had always considered himself to be average, if not a little below. Lanky in size and a bit too skinny- though the medication he took caused some of that.

It felt weird to be wanted, especially by someone as handsome and funny and amazing as Chris. He was a hot mess, always had been, and frankly he deserved better. It was if his boyfriend had read his mind. He suddenly felt a warm palm on one of his wrists, fingers barely brushing against a scar there and he tried to tug it away. It had been last year, not long after he had lost his sisters. It hadn’t even helped or anything, not really, and the worst part about it was how upset Chris had gotten when he found out. Chris had felt sad that it had come to something like that, and that he hadn’t done enough. That he had failed. It made guilt eat away at his gut every time his scars brushed and burned against his sleeves, every time he looked in the mirror and saw them.

Dr. Hill had called it a minor relapse, but it hadn’t felt like that to Josh. To him it felt that he had taken twenty steps back; had destroyed all the hard work and progress that they had made. It frustrated him beyond belief. But again, Chris was there, a constant tether to his sanity. A northern star in his vast and endless sky. He helped him through it and he eventually fell back on track.

Despite his tugs his gentle grip on his wrist remained.

“Josh. Look at me.” His tone was nothing but soft and Josh’s eyes fluttered open to look up at his lover. He was looking down at him with such unadulterated love that it made his head spin and his heart swell. He was caught, trapped in his stare.

“I love you.” Chris said firmly, absolute.

Josh swallowed thickly, eyes prickling. He was constantly reminded of this fact, on a nearly day to day basis. The blonde said the words as if they were going out of style, and he was almost overwhelmed by it each time. He wasn’t complaining of course, but it still felt impossible. How was this man even real?

“I love you, too.”

“Stop thinking so loudly. I wanna make you feel good.” Chris gave him a quick peck on the lips before he moved back down his body. And Josh’s head hit the blanket once more, jaw going slack as a warm mouth suddenly enclosed around his dick.

“ _Holy shit_.”

Chris sucked him, tongue sliding against his shaft languidly. He bobbed his head and lapped at the head of his cock, spurred on even more by the noises he was getting from the brunette. Josh threaded his fingers into Chris’ hair, shivering with pleasure because of his ministrations. He all but keened when he was deep throated, the other man giggling slightly around him, and it only sent vibrations through his body. He tugged lightly at the strands of blonde hair that his hands were grasping and let out a shaky moan, arousal pooling heavy in his gut.

“If you don’t stop now I don’t think I’m gonna make it much longer.” He warned him. He wanted to last as long as possible and to make it as enjoyable as he could. And he really wanted Chris inside of him like, right now. Chris slid his tongue around the head of his cock once more before he relented, pulling back with a lewd sounding pop as he lifted his head up.

“Right yeah.” He wiped at the string of saliva that was sticking to his chin before he looked around for something.

“Um Houston, we may have a problem.”

The older man arched a brow, “Which is..?”

“I didn’t bring anything.” Chris said, gesturing with his hands as if to emphasize his lack of anything. Josh chuckled and shook his head, getting into a sitting position.

“O, ye of little faith.” He grabbed for his jeans that lay discarded by their makeshift love nest and dug around in one of his pockets until he felt the corner of a foil wrapper. He pulled out the condom and tossed it at Chris, reaching his hand back in to grab the bottle of lube he carried. He wriggled his eyebrows, the bottle held up between two of his fingers before he pressed it into Chris’ palm. He got on his back once more and fidgeted until he was comfortable, bending his knees and spreading his legs to make things easier.

“Always be prepared, Christopher. That’s like, _Boy Scouts 101_.”

“Yeah, well. We all know how that worked out.” And they did. Chris had sprained his wrist after falling out of a tree and called home from the main office for his mom to come pick him up barely three days in. Josh of course, never let him live it down. Josh watched as Chris poured some of the lube onto his fingers and spread it around.

He bit his lip as the first finger slipped into him. It was still a bit weird to get used to at first. Chris’ other hand came up to rest on his pelvis, fingers splaying across his hot skin. By now they were both covered in a thin sheen of sweat, panting and horny. Eventually Josh started to move his hips, grinding down on the finger, and the younger man took it as a sign to add a second one.

It wasn’t long until he had three fingers inside of him, and he fucked down onto the digits until Chris finally deemed him ready, pulling them out. He stood up once more and finally slid out of his briefs, sighing with relief when they weren’t constricting him anymore. He got down on to the floor again and with a practiced hand he ripped open the foil to the condom and made sure he slid it on properly. Afterwards he grabbed the bottle of lube and applied another generous amount to his fingers, wrapping his hand around his dick and giving it a few tugs to make sure the lube was spread out evenly.

He groaned lightly at his own touch, and Josh suddenly realized that that was the first time he had touched himself tonight. He licked at his dry, chapped lips and watched as the blonde positioned himself in between his legs.

“Ready?” He asked, his eyes flickering up to Josh to get the okay.

“Hell yeah.”

He guided the head of his dick into his ass with one hand, placing the other next to Josh’s head to keep himself steady.

“Oh _god_.” Chris murmured, panting as he slid into him. Josh moaned, toes curling at the sensation of being filled up. He fisted at the blanket below him, letting out another shudder.

“While I’m flattered you can just call me Jo- _oooshhh_.” His joke died with a hiss on his tongue as the blonde went balls deep before stopping, giving the other man time to adjust. They sat still for a moment, breath ragged as they remained silent. Josh reached up and hooked an arm around Chris’ neck, bringing him in closer so they could kiss. Every small movement caused his dick to move inside him, and he let out a small groan against his lips.

“Okay.” He said finally, after they had pulled apart. “You can move now.”

The younger man didn’t need to be told twice, and he ran his hands down Josh’s sides as he began thrusting into him in a slow and steady rhythm. The hands trailing on his skin felt as if they were leaving hot flames in their wake and he shut his eyes tight, completely debauched as the pleasure rippled through him.

Josh’s name tumbled from Chris’ lips in a quiet mantra, and it was sending pleasant shivers up his spine, exhilarated by the knowledge that he was the reason that he was coming undone.

They moaned and groaned and panted together as Chris picked up the pace, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room.

He knew wasn’t going to last much longer, on the brink of euphoria with every thrust. His sweat was making the blanket stick to his back uncomfortably but at the moment he couldn’t bring himself to care, too caught up in the exhilarating feeling of Chris fucking him. The blonde held his legs on either side of his hips, fingers curling into his dark thighs hard enough to leave bruises as he pounded into him.

He gladly bucked his hips down to meet his thrusts and moaned brokenly, stars dancing behind his eyes when he hit his prostate. Chris shifted, taking his hands off of his thighs and leaning forwards. He steadied himself on his elbows, almost chest to chest with him. Josh took it upon himself to wrap his legs around the blonde’s waist, the balls of his feet digging into the small of his back. He lifted up his arms to wrap them around his boyfriend, blunt nails scraping into his skin.

“I’m close.” Josh mumbled, voice hoarse from misuse. Chris responded by sneaking a hand in between the two of them, wrapping his fingers around Josh’s cock and pumping it a few times. His touch, accompanied with his unrelenting thrusts was just enough to send him over the edge, letting out a shout as he came into Chris’ fist. His arms flopped uselessly to his sides as he came down from his orgasm, gasping for breath. Chris moaned lowly, and gave a few short thrusts before he stilled, pressing his forehead into his chest as he came.

Chris’ weight gave out and he collapsed onto Josh, thoroughly spent. They both panted, limbs shaking in the aftermath.

“Holy fuck.” The brunette mumbled blissfully. He got a weak noise of agreement in reply. Eventually the blonde pulled out of him and removed the condom, tying it off and tossing it somewhere. He flopped down beside of him then, nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck.

Josh appreciated the touch and grinned happily, mind a bit hazy. He was incredibly lucky to have this man by his side. He could always count on him to be around when things got rough. And for a long time, they had been. During a majority of that time Chris had been his flotation device. His anchor.

 

* * *

 

_Chris had been there for him since the third grade. And they only grew closer to him as time went on. He was there for him when things started to feel off, when Josh didn’t quite feel like himself but he didn’t know why. Chris was there, even with Josh’s constant mood swings and doctor appointment after appointment, and all the pills. He was a patient shoulder to cry on._

_Depression had been in Josh’s life for quite a while now. Always prominent in his mind, always suffocating. It was hard to pinpoint exactly where it stemmed from; in fact he spent several monthly visits with his therapist, Dr. Alan Hill, trying to figure that out. They had however, been able to find that a lot of it was due to his father. And how they used to do everything together. They’d go to the movies, get ice cream, and all that father-son bonding stuff. They even played baseball together, which his sisters and sometimes even his mother, would partake in._

_But then things started to change. Starting when he found out he was gay. Needles to say, things didn’t go smoothly after he came out. His sisters and mother had been very supportive of him, much to his disbelief. His father? Not so much. A fair share of yelling had echoed through the house that night, until Josh had stormed out, assuring his worried mom that he was going to spend the night at a friends house. Chris had been confused to see his friend on his doorstep at nearly one in the morning, but had pushed that aside upon seeing the look on his face._

_After that his dad got more involved in his work in the movie business and less involved at home. Countless dinners with an empty seat and plate, and his mom downing her third glass of wine. It suited him just fine to be honest, the less awkward encounters and tight-lipped exchanges the better, but now it was affecting the whole family and he was never able to shake the idea that it had been his fault._

_This trend continued for several years and left a rift between the family in it’s wake. (If anything the rift only seemed to grow in size after he started dating Chris, whom his father had never liked to begin with,) and during that time he grew closer to his younger sisters. Them, along with Chris and the other friends in their group kept him grounded. Of course the group fought regularly, personalities clashing, but eventually they made up and everything was fine. They helped alleviate shit when things got especially rough._

_And then he lost them._

_Suddenly, it was like a rug was pulled out from under him. His sisters, his baby sisters. Gone. The grief overwhelmed him. He had felt angry, first at Mike and the others who had participated in the prank, (though it wasn’t really their fault, they didn’t have any idea she would run outside and get lost,) but then mostly with himself. He shouldn’t have been drinking anything, he should have done something more- he should have went after them. Anything._

_His dad thought that, too. His mother didn’t say much of anything, stress lines prominent in her face. Too distant now, but not on purpose. His depression, along with all the other bullshit only seemed worsened from there, and he skipped from pill to pill when the effects didn’t work out, or made him even worse off. Most days he didn’t even want to get out of bed. His monthly therapy sessions became weekly._

_After a while he had gotten fed up with it all, and flushed them down the drain. He tried to put on a facade, shaking off all the worried words and glances from his friends. But of course, suddenly stopping his medication took it’s toll on him. He felt more irritable, nauseous, also accompanied with nightmares and hallucinations. Sometimes it was hard to ascertain if what was happening was real or not. Then he had harmed himself. It had been his lowest point. And of course Chris picked up on his condition rather quickly. He had tried to push him away, but Chris always had been stubborn, and he remained by his side, resolute._

_Josh confided in him one night, showing him the scars he had tried so hard to conceal. And then they had cried, Chris holding him so tightly. He made him promise that he wouldn’t hide things anymore, and that he’d get back on his meds. He promised._

_It wasn’t long after that that Dr. Hill had recommended ECT. Initially Josh had outright refused. The thought terrified him. Being put under, given muscle relaxant, and then being shocked to purposely induce a seizure did not sound like a good Friday night. But with some coaxing from Dr. Hill, and another doctor that would be doing the procedure, he eventually caved._

_He vividly remembered his first ECT appointment, and how he had been swimming with nerves the entire week. It hadn’t helped that they made him stop eating at midnight the previous night, only adding to his nausea. His parents drove him there of course, and he wouldn’t be allowed to drive 24 hours after the procedures. Chris had rode along, too, gripping his hand and assuring him that everything was going to be fine._

_Chris wasn’t allowed into the room because he wasn’t family. Josh had all but froze in place, fear coiling around his heart and digging in painfully._

_“I don’t want to do it if he can’t be with me.” He stubbornly said, clutching his boyfriend's hand hard enough to stop his blood circulation. The female doctor was patient with him, smiling sympathetically. Beside her his dad huffed impatiently, lips drawn in a thin line. Dr. Hill, also required to be present, placed a gentle hand on his shoulder._

_“Christopher will be right here waiting for you when you get out.” He assured him._

_“Yeah. I’m not going anywhere.” The blonde added. His growing fear trickled away slightly, and he sighed, relenting. Before he was led away he quickly gave him a kiss, audience be damned._

_Overall the procedure didn’t take as long as he thought it would. They had sat him down and explained it all to him, even though Josh knew a majority of it as Chris had researched it, trying to calm his nerves. Body aches and a headache was usually common afterwards. Confusion was also to be expected. Sometimes the memory could be effected during the treatments or courses, but that would eventually subside after everything was said and done with._

_About an hour later, after he had rested and was given the okay to leave, they headed back to the waiting room, his mother keeping a hold on him in case he felt woozy despite his protests. Chris had fallen asleep, head propped up on his palm and a wrinkly old magazine open in his lap. Josh had barely tapped his shoulder before the man was springing up from his seat, magazine falling to the floor._

_“Was only resting my eyes!” He mumbled, glasses askew. Josh snorted._

_“C’mon Sleeping Beauty, I’m starving.”_

_ECT wasn’t an immediate success after the first time obviously, and usually people got eight to twelve sessions, three times a week. Some required more, some less. After a while, though, it did start to help. He still took antidepressants, but his dosage had since lowered._

_His friends tried to be there for him, Sam mostly, and of course Chris. Sometimes they took turns driving him to his therapy sessions, or accompanying him to the hospital. He preferred it when Chris and Sam did it to be honest. They understood him. The others, especially Emily and Matt, acted as if he were fragile glass. Like one wrong word they said would set him off or something. Jess and Ashley at least tried, bless their souls. Always acting chipper, as if nothing was wrong. He appreciated the effort, anyway. And Mike was, well, Mike._

_Chris made absolutely sure he was taking his medicine after the incident, much to his occasional annoyance. He couldn't blame him, though. And he knew he was only looking out for him. He also made sure to keep reminders around for when things got a little foggy. What had he done to deserve such a man in his life, he’d never know._

 

* * *

 

He was still a ways from being better, and as far as things went he couldn't be completely healed of course, but it was still the best he had felt in quite a while. To be honest he was amazed that Chris still put up with all his shit no matter what. He owed him so much. He owed all of his friends, in fact. He could only imagine what would have happened if he had continued to push his friends and family away. Continued to stop taking his medication. He shivered unpleasantly at the thought and curled up closer to Chris, who tilted his head and smiled, pressing light kisses into his shoulder and murmuring sweet nothings.

After a few more rounds of equally amazing sex they decided it was time to head back, and put everything back where it was. Chris held up the blanket, which had its fair share of questionable stains on the front. Josh waved a dismissive hand, poking at the ashes in the furnace and making sure it was completely put out.

“Eh just throw it over in the corner, I’ll come by and clean it later or something.”

The blonde did as he was told, and soon Josh locked the door and they started to tromp their way back to the lodge. The snow had picked back up while they were inside, coating everything in a new layer. Their footprints from earlier were all but gone now. Even though nothing disturbed them while they were walking they still were on high alert. It still felt as if they were being watched by someone, or something.

The passed by the log again and something made the hairs on the back of Josh’s neck stand up. He glanced around, but couldn’t see anything in the thick cluster of trees. Splotches of blood still shone through the snow and he couldn’t help but pick up his pace as they walked.

“Well I suppose we should take care of damage control.” Chris said, as they came to a stop in front of the lodge. Josh made a humming noise in agreement and together they climbed up the stairs. Chris pulled open the door for him and made a grand sweeping gesture.

“Age before beauty, as they always say.”

The brunette punched him in the arm lightly and pretended to glare at him while he passed over the threshold.

“Honey, I’m home!”

“Thank god!” Was an immediate reply. It sounded like Matt. Josh grinned and passed through the foyer to get to the main room.

“Aww, did ya miss me?”

The two of them had seemed to greatly misjudge the situation when they had left. They had thought that maybe, just maybe nothing would go wrong while they were away. (It had been mostly Josh assuring that, because really he just wanted some alone time with Chris, but still,) but of course, why would they have expected that when Jess and Emily were involved?

The two said females were at each others throats. In the past there had always been petty arguments, that usually led to tearful apologies and hugs, but now the situation had escalated. After Mike and Emily had broken up, and then Mike subsequently got together with Jess not long afterwards, all signs of their previous friendship had seemed to leave the two girls.

Matt looked pained and miserable as he held his girlfriend by the waist, attempting to keep her at bay while she wriggled in his grasp. She huffed and grit her teeth, trying to lunge at the other girl. Likewise Mike had Jess in a similar hold, but he looked more amused than anything by the commotion.

Ashley sat on the sofa, cradling her cheek in the palm of her hand. A stark red blotch covered the majority of her cheek, nearly in the perfect shape of a hand print. No doubt she had tried to intervene in between the cat fight, and got smacked by a flailing limb as payment. Not long after Sam bustled her way out of the kitchen, an ice pack in her hand.

“C’mon bitch, I could fight you with one hand tied behind my back!” Jess declared, flipping the bangs out of her face. Emily laughed at that before feigning concern.

“Oh I’m sorry honey, what’s wrong with your other hand? Too sore from _jerking off every guy that comes your way_?!” She sneered. Jess let out an outraged shriek before she fought against Mike even harder, who had to duck his head to the side to avoid getting elbowed in the jaw.

Josh and Chris shared a look.

“I’m not messing with that.” Chris said, holding up his hands. Instead he turned and strolled over to check on Ashley and Sam, leaving Josh to deal with the two rambunctious females. Great. He sighed and shook his head, approaching the fray as if not to spook a wild animal.

“Alright guys, knock it off.” Nothing. They continued to squabble and throw insults as if he hadn’t even spoken. Mike halfheartedly shrugged. He had long since given up on trying to calm his girlfriend down. He fought the urge to roll his eyes.

“Guys! Could you please stop? We’re here to party remember, not get at each others throats.” That had at least gotten their attention somewhat. Emily backed off slightly, instead crossing her arms over her chest. Jess huffed and mirrored the motion, turning away from the woman.

“I’m sorry Josh, I just can’t stand  to be in a room with her for long periods of time.” Emily opened her mouth, as if to shoot out a retort, and Josh slid in between the girls. He placed a hand on Jess’ shoulder and sent her his best pleading face.

“Do you think you could manage? For me? If not me, than for my sisters?” It was a low blow, even for him, but he honestly just wanted them to shut up. A headache was already making itself present, but at least it got the desired effect. Her expression softened, and she shook off her boyfriend’s hold to give him a quick hug. She’d been doing that a lot lately. It was best not to question it.

“Of course sweetie.” After she pulled away Mike stepped up and clapped him on the shoulder.

“You know, some booze might make this weekend go a lot better.” He said, grinning. Beside him, Jess elbowed him hard, sending him a _why would you say that?!_ type of look. Likewise, the room seemed to tense somewhat.

Josh really did roll his eyes that time. It wasn’t like he was going to collapse in a fit of despair because they mentioned alcohol. After that night his father had added a lock to the wine cellar. It didn’t really matter really, because Josh hadn’t taken a sip of anything afterwards. Partially because of his guilt, partially because of his medication.

He fished the key out of his jean pocket, (he had stolen it from his dad’s study earlier that week,) and gestured with his head towards the kitchen.

“Right this way.”

He could practically feel Sam’s sympathetic look as he led them away. Despite his best assurances that he was doing fine, he could practically foresee all the glances and tip-toeing around certain conversations that was no doubt going to occur. He sighed.

It was going to be a _loooooong_ weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, there ya have it! :) I hope it turned out okay. I've never written a character with a mental illness, and after finishing the game I realized how off my Josh seemed in the first chapter, so I tried to rectify the situation by explaining that he got the help he needed, etc etc. I was unsure of exactly what all Josh had, but I didn't want to just write it off as nothing, and I hope that I did it some justice.
> 
> Thanks for reading!! <3

**Author's Note:**

> *whispering* they went to the bone zone. Several times, in several places. And no one got dragged out of the cabin. and then they went back to the lodge and everyone bonded and they left feeling closer to each other and no one was harmed. *distant sobbing*
> 
> Aaaaah! So I hope you liked the fic. I worked hard on it, and I'm actually pretty proud of it for a change. :) So yeah! Ya'll can come talk to me at my tumblr if you want, and in case you didn't get to this fic from said blog you can find it here: videogamesandbutts.tumblr.com.
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read this! <3


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